Just as porn promises the hardest, the hottest, the biggest, the wettest, so the Robb Report promises only the finest - as its advertisers insist again and again. In the place of big-haired, hard-bodied, pontoon-breasted hussies, the Robb Report offers up tantalizing pictures of stereos, cigars, yachts and watches. But the Robb Report, which began its life more than two decades ago as a Rolls Royce tip sheet, is far more hard-core than anything ever imagined by Hef.

The comparison with Hef is not made idly, for the Robb Report offers a kind of pornography for the very, very wealthy - only without all those naked people to clutter up the pictures. But while Hef's style of sexual utopianism is looking long in the tooth (as is the man himself), '80s-style excess is still tenaciously clinging to life - and nowhere more tenaciously than in the pages of the Robb Report. Just as the swinging Hef - pipe in his mouth, playmates in his hot tub - was once the symbol of an idealized state of perpetual bachelorhood, so The Donald remains a symbol of '80s-style excess. Hyperbole, chutzpah, and singing superlatives are all hallmarks of the Trump personality that translate well to his casino hotels and yachts and planes and luxury apartments.' Writer Linda Marx defines for her readers the essence of Trump: 'a fascination with flamboyance, an obsession with opulence - he is a man who believes his own braggadocio. 'The Donald is back,' the editors croon - and, it goes without saying, he's badder than ever (as is his hair). Indeed, a recent Robb feature celebrated the triumphant 'return' of this most flamboyant '80s icon.

Each issue of the fat, slick monthly assures its readers - some 300,000 of them, mostly male, with an average household income of $755,000, according to advertising director Rick Sedler - that in the circles that really matter, gratuitous displays of wealth and cheesiness will never go out of style.īlackwood's '80s are the decade of Culture Club and Flock of Seagulls the Robb Report, by contrast, harks back to the decade of Dynasty and Donald Trump. Like former MTV veejay Nina Blackwood, who was last sighted pimping a collection of 'retro' hits on late-night TV, the readers of the Robb Report for the Affluent Lifestyle have squatted down in the midst of the 1980s and refused to leave.

A flock of seagulls hair donald trump